Popular media personality, Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa has said she regrets publicly declaring her pregnancy after she lost her twin babies shortly after birth.
Parirenyatwa announced her pregnancy on social media last year, saying that she had opted to use a sperm donor while still looking for “Mr. Right” because she felt that time was running out, however, she tragically lost her twin babies.
In a recent interview with Alpha Media Holdings CEO Trevor Ncube, Parirenyatwa said “the first thing you should know is that not everyone is happy for you,” she said.
“The second lesson is to safeguard beautiful things because humans destroy them. Just be quiet.”
Parirenyatwa said that she shared her story in the hope of starting a conversation about miscarriage and stillbirth, which are often taboo subjects in Zimbabwean culture.
“In Shona there is a saying ‘usafukure hapwa’ (loosely translated to mean don’t disclose inner secrets),” she said. “That is one of those things, miscarriage or losing your child.”
Parirenyatwa said that she lost the twins after birth, and that it was not a miscarriage.
“Mine I do not call it a miscarriage because I delivered, they were live at birth so we cannot call it a miscarriage,” she said. “I lost my babies and it’s a completely different experience.”
The media personality said that local culture has some taboos which impinge on women’s rights and that these need to be discarded.
“I do not know how our culture says we should not talk about losing a child,” she said. “It also says that you should not grieve or cry when you have lost a baby, something mythical about how it means that you will not conceive.”
“There are so many rules and terms and conditions that our culture has that I need to question our ancestors about.”
Parirenyatwa said that women who faced similar challenges should not shy away from telling other people their problem, as it helped in healing fast.
“I would tell anybody going through this that there are professionals, friends and family that you can reach out to,” she said.
“There is a shame that women also carry especially if it is your first attempt at trying to become a mother. You then feel like a failure so there is a shame that you carry to say that I could not carry a child to term, my womb is not fit for motherhood.”
